


The afterword hits the hardest

by El_Red



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, F/F, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-09-16 23:12:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16963278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/El_Red/pseuds/El_Red
Summary: The team have dissipated back to their own lives, but Debbie misses one most of all.





	1. Chapter 1

The loft was quiet.  
It hardly did that nowadays, there was always someone doing something in the background. and even on the off chance they did get some time alone Lou knew Debbie couldn’t stand the silence, so always she put a record on.

Today was different though, Amita and nine ball were visiting their sisters, Not due back till tomorrow. Daphne and Rose were off around the globe doing celebrity things and having sex in a different hotel room each night, because Daphne has always been a diva and Rose would happily drag the world to its knees if it meant her love would be happy. Lou could understand the feeling.

She didn't know where constance was, Debbie had got annoyed with her after tripping over her longboard at three in the morning and had shouted a lot more than necessary, Lou thinks it really wasn't fair, but Connie had left in a haze of Debbie's anger and chastisement before she had had a chance to step in. Lou made a mental note to buy her a new camera as an apology but now she had other things to worry about. Namely, where Debbie had gone.

As she wandered aimlessly around the loft, she tried to decide what to say. Her lover had been pulling away for a while now, after Lou got back from California and everyone had more or less disappeared into their own lives she had been quiet, withdrawn in a way Lou had never seen her before. It may have been prison she guessed, or the lack of Danny that sat a gaping hole over their lives. It was more likely a mix of both, and Tammy. Always Tammy, it had been for as long as Lou had known them both. A whirlwind of mess and danger that hardly ceased and was always followed with a calm just as deadly and just as terrifying. They really were a pair. 

Lou sighed. She turned towards the door and walked out to the beach.


	2. Chapter 2

Tammy lies awake, her whole body aching. She doesn't know where he is but she is glad he’s not here tonight, she feels bad about that too. She runs her fingers up her side, she can feel each rib, she should probably do something about that.

She wonders why she is still here, why she didn't leave the first time he hit her, why she didn't tell any of the girls, but that makes her want to cry so she tries to think of something else. It doesn't work. She wonders if Deb would hate her. god, she probably would. she has always scorned the weak, and Tammy has been nothing but weak in this, she left because of spite, found the first man with a respectable family and settled down, so blinded by anger and purpose she didn't notice anything was wrong with the marriage she never wanted until it was too late.  
she does cry at that.

Lou would probably be more understanding, but god knows she has enough on her plate with Debbie being Debbie and all the girls and Tammy shouldn't bother her with her problems, no. It's not like it's not her fault anyhow. She’ll figure this one out alone, she is a multi million con for fucks sake. As long as he doesn't touch the kids she will deal with this alone. She needn’t worry the girls. It's fine. 

She cries herself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short ive been writing at 2 in the morning


	3. Chapter 3

Lou finds Debbie sat on the shore, just a metre away from where the sea is curling itself onto the stones. She sits next to her, pretending not to notice how Debbie stiffens when she notices she has company.  
'you should call her’ Lou doesn't turn her head away from the water as she speaks,  
‘No Lou, she left. She doesn't want to be here. She doesn't want me.’ Debbie hated how broken her voice sounded, she wondered how Lou had figured it out.  
‘okay’ Lou turned towards her lover then, pulling softly at Debbie's chin until watery brown eyes meet blue. Loud heart broke at the pain etched on her Debbie's face.  
‘ first, she didn't leave us, you. She went back to her children, there's a difference. Even you can see that Deb.’ she tugged the woman's face up again as Debbie tried to look anywhere but her  
'second, I know you Debbie, and I know Tammy. I made the decision that I would follow you to the centre of the earth a long time ago. Someone has to look after the pair of you, you don't have an ounce of self preservation between you’  
Debbie smiled at that before her face dropped  
'but why hasn't she called? it's been nearly 2 months now and she hasn't called once! It's like she is trying to forget us all over again.’ she really did break then, tears she had been trying so hard to keep at bay rolling down her cheeks. Lou pulled her close and wrapped her arms around shaking shoulders  
‘ she visited me, you know. Just after you were put away, I was breaking down. She had heard, I don't know how, probably rusty. I still don't know what she did to him to make him like her so much. But she met me in a coffee shop and told me you were an idiot and that she was sorry. That she had kids now and she was married, that she was out but she never could say no to you. And if I ever needed something to contact her. “Open door policy” she said’ they giggled. But Debbie sobered and pushed Lou away and wiped her face harshly  
'she got married Lou, to a man. Tammy is a gay as you are and I know she wanted kids but I didn't think she would ever do that. He doesn't even care about her you know. She had a garage packed with stolen stuff and he either didn't care or believed her eBay lie. eBay Lou. And I know she had kids now but couldn't she at least call. Once, so that I know she’s not dead. Or text or something. You know what she said when she left. She said that “more than one thing can make me happy” and I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means!’ 

She was full out sobbing now Lou looked on with tears in her own eyes, these women were going to be the death of eachother, and her. God.  
‘ why don't we go to bed, sleep all the way through tonight and you can call her in the morning. Or even go round there. It's Wednesday so she should be alone. Just tell her how you feel. tell her everything she deserves hear.’  
Debbie nods and they stand, leaning on each other into the loft. They fall into bed fully clothed and Lou gets up just long enough to tug off their shoes and jeans before dragging the covers over them and turning out the light. Arms immediately finding their place around Debbie holding her close as if to never let her go. Lou exhaled, tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	4. Chapter 4

It was a normal day, the kids were at school, he had come home at eight to shower, eat and leave again. Normal day.

She tiptoed through the house, she felt that she didn't belong there, had since she had gone away and came back. The badly heated criminal loft had felt more like home than this stupid giant house ever had. The team had felt more like family that she had felt with adults ever. Not including Debbie and Lou. She should probably just stop including Debbie and Lou in anything anymore, they seemed to be outliers to everything she had ever thought of herself or the world. 

She stopped in front of her bedroom, the door was open and she could see herself in the mirror, god she looked pathetic. Limp hair and red eyes, sunken cheeks and bruises barely covered with makeup. He jumper was too big layered over a shirt in a vain attempt to keep out the chill that never seemed to leave her bones. She sighed and moved deeper into the room.

She stopped in front of the mirror and picked up the packet of makeup wipes she always kept on the side. She tried not to look at her face anymore, she covered it up for her own sake as well as the kids. Derek had started to notice that she wasn't ok though. He tried to give her his cookie and left his stuffed rabbit in her bed, Tammy wanted to cry again. She cried to much now. She started taking off the makeup, she couldn't hide from this anymore. 

She went down stairs again stood in the middle of the kitchen bare faced in an oversized t-shirt that had been Lou's a lifetime ago. It had been too big for her then, now it swamped her, showing even clearer how skinny she had gotten over the last month. She should eat, that might actually be why she was in this room.

She made tea, it seemed the right thing to do. Self-care without doing anything that would actually help her. And she stood at the window looking out into the garden.

Her phone rang. she jumped, dropping the mug onto the floor where it smashed showering her jeans with hot tea, she hardly even felt it. Her phone was on the counter, face up vibrating with Debbie Oceans face. Oh shit. She put her hand out but It rang off, Then it started again she picked it up. Trying to sound normal, not that she really knows what normal is, she answered the phone.


	5. Chapter 5

‘I'm in your garage’ the same words as all those months ago, Tammy choked back a sob. She couldn't be here, no way, her face was a mess, she'd been crying again. There was no way Debbie could see her like this.  
'Tammy? Are you there?’ she sounded worried and it was all Tammy could do to not break down in the middle of her kitchen.  
'yeah’ god she sounded bad, she hasn't spoken since the kids left and she sounded like it, maybe Debbie wouldn't notice.  
'you ok tim-tam? You don't sound too good’  
Well shit.  
'i'm, I'm ok. It's just I'm a bit busy at the moment why did you call?’ she hoped it was convincing  
‘are you alone? Can I come in? Lou's in the car, should I go get her?’ Debbie sounded nervous, and a bit desperate, even to Tammy's ears, she wondered what was going on. And no, Debbie should not go and get Lou or come in, that wouldn't be good, no, go away deb. 

She had obviously held off replying for too long as Debbie sighed,  
‘I'm gonna come in Tammy. If you don't want to see me you can just say, but I want to see you? Is that okay?’ Tammy didn't answer, she was stuck in the middle of her kitchen surrounded by broken China and covered in bruises. Of course it wasn't okay  
'okay Tammy’ she hung up and for a second Tammy thought that she might leave, but then the door from the garage opened and she closed her eyes. She may have even stopped breathing, dropping her face as far away from what would be Debbie's line of sight as she could without moving and waited for the inevitable.

‘Tammy?’ Debbie walked towards her cautiously  
'are you okay? Tammy? What's going on baby, you are scaring me?’ Tammy let her tears fall, trying to stifle a whimper at the concern in Debbie's voice. Upon hearing the younger woman's unmistakable sniff of tears Debbie rushed towards her, not caring about stepping on the ceramic on the floor and grabbing Tammy by the arms.  
‘Tammy what's wrong? Tammy’ she really did sound desperate, her shoes crunching on broken ceramic as she shifted uneasily from foot to foot.  
Tammy sobbed harder, pressing her face into Debbie's shoulder if only to stop the other woman from noticing the large hand shaped bruise that covered one side of her face. It hurt to put pressure on, she pushed harder.

Debbie was at a loss, she didn't know what to do with herself except hold her friend, lover?, Ex-girlfriend? No that didn't sound right. She took out her phone and pressed to call Lou,  
‘Debbie?’ Her voice was tinny with just an edge of panic  
‘Lou, can you come in? I think the doors unlocked’ Tammy shook her head against her shoulder, pulling lightly at Debbie's jumper and muttering something incomprehensible in-between her sobs.  
‘What's going on deb? I can hear crying? Is it one of the kids? Is it Tammy?’ She really sounded panicked now and Debbie could get her moving around on the other end of the phone, shifting out of the car and slamming the door.  
‘I don't know lou, it's Tammy. Just hurry up, we’ll be in the living room.’ Lou started to protest but she hung up and shoved her phone into her pocket and slipped her arms back around Tammy's waist. She could feel the woman's ribs through her shirt, what the hell was going on. She lifted Tammy off the floor so as to move her without the threat of sharp ceramic and was met with no resistance and even less weight. This kept getting worse, she carried her easily into the adjacent room and set her down gently onto the sofa where she immediately curled in on herself and started hyperventilating.  
‘Tammy! Tammy, calm down baby, breathe, please honey, it's okay Tam, breathe with me baby’ she just got her to slow her breaths down slightly when the front door opened harshly and loud footfalls ricocheted off the quiet walls, debbie knew it was just Lou but Tammy's whole body froze, the shattered breathing and harsh whimpers silencing out immediately as she tensed every muscle in apparent terror at the new person in her home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait lads, I totally forgot.  
> I promise I'll try and make them longer 
> 
> Hope you liked it, tell me if you did, or you didn't, or tell me whats happening with you for the holidays i need entertaining.
> 
> Merry Christmas xx


	6. Chapter 6

When Lou entered the room the first thing she noticed was Debbie kneeling on the floor in front of a a tiny shaking ball of human settled on the sofa. She stood in the doorway trying to get her head around the scene when Debbie looked at her and the fear and helplessness in her eyes broke Lou's heart. What the hell happened. She walked slowly into the room, kneeling by Debbie and grabbed her hand, for whose comfort she didn't know. Now she was closer she could see that the trembles wraking Tammy's body were a mix of stifled crying and slight shaking due to her holding each muscle tense. Lou moved her hand slowly to Tammy's leg, touching her fingertips to her shin gently trying not to startle her. It didn't work. Her head shoot up from her knees and she stared at Lou with wide eyes.

She heard Debbie's intake of breath at the sight and their joined hands were tight enough to crack knuckles. Tammy’s face was a mess, a marred bruise stretched one entire side, purple and blue fading to yellow at the edge of her cheekbone and above her jaw, finger marks. A small cut shone slightly scabbed below her eye, as if someone had slapped her with a ring on. Which, judging by the shape of the bruising and terror in her eyes, was probably the reality of the situation. Oh god. 

Once Tammy had registered in her mind it was Lou in front of her, not some nightmare creature she had been dreading finding her, she threw herself into the woman's arms and sobbed harder and harder, mumbling apologies and pleas too mixed with tears and whimpers for Lou or Debbie to understand. Lou wrapped her free arm around her shaking body gingerly, hand hovering for a split second before coming to rest lightly in her back. Jesus, she could feel her ribs through Tammy's back as if she was just skin on bone, feel the every shake and sob shatter throughout the blondes frail form. She looked at Debbie over Tammy's shoulder, silently asking her for information, anything to keep her from feeling so helpless. She was met with nothing but teary eyes reflecting perfectly the pain and guilt she felt. They had to fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is short, I wrote it in 10 minutes. I'll try to have a longer one for next time XD 
> 
> thamks for sticking around folks! also I have a Tumblr if you wanna follow me it's  
> @gayphsyconerd and I will talk to you about almost anything. Hit me up about hot air balloons, we'll chat.


	7. Chapter 7

Lou sucked in a breath, nodded to herself and stood up with Tammy in her arms,   
'Go and get some of her stuff Debs, then we'll go back to the loft. And call Constance while you're at it, tell her to pick up the kids from school later, take them back to hers. They aren't to come here under any circumstances.' She almost whispered, looking to Debbie who nodded in understanding, cast one concerned look at Tammy and made her way up the stairs.

Lou carried Tammy out to the car and sat them both in the back seat, the younger woman refusing to let go of her even though she had cried herself to sleep. Lou played with her rings, she tried desperately to find some sort of explanation for the state Tammy was in. She kept coming to the same conclusion, it made her feel sick, she had never liked Tammy's 'family man’ husband but she'd always thought that it was just jealousy and misplaced anger for the fact that Tammy was effectively locking herself in the closet for life, just to have some stability. She never thought that her would do anything like...that. She started drumming her fingers on the door in unease, Debbie was taking too long. They needed to get out of this suburb before she started sobbing herself.

In the house Debbie walked through the Tammy's bedroom without stopping, the room was neat, without personality, like a show home. She pulled some pyjamas and simple clothes from the wardrobe and turned back to scan the room. There was a small picture frame on the right beside table that held a photo of Tammy and both of the kids, all looking so happy it made Debbie's heart ache. She knows he must have taken the picture, she knows Tammy was happy here in the beginning, she knows that the children mean everything to her, they had even before she had any. Tammy had wanted a family since as long as Debbie could remember, whenever they played family games she was the mother, she babysat better than any of the other kids in the whole school. She deserved a life with children, with someone who loved and wanted them as much as she does. Debbie wished with everything that she had, that she could've given her that, all those years ago. Then she might not have left, even though that wasn't the whole problem, this might not have happened. She sighed, put the photo in her bag with the clothes and makeup and called Constance about the kids on the way out the house.

Once they were back at the loft, Lou carried Tammy upstairs and put her to sleep in her and Debbie's bed. Neither woman seemed happy to leave her there alone, but they needed to talk. Desperately. Debbie grabbed Lou's hand and tugged her downstairs, she made two cups of strong coffee and sat down opposite her at the table.   
'So… what was that?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long people, I haven't been writing because of exams. Im gonna try and get into it again and then I'll see if I can make them longer. Hope you enjoy this filler!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May I offer you a bit of fluff and filler in this trying exam time? 
> 
> Sorry it's been a while, hope you like it! 
> 
> Tell me what you thought? I really need the distraction!

When Tammy woke up the first thing she noticed was the exhaustion, she'd gotten used to it over the last few months, constant and obvious, seeping from the back of her mind into her bones. She looked around slowly, brain dully recognising it as the room in Lou's loft the “heist wives” had shared. She fell back against the pillows, sighing into them and closing her eyes. If Lou and Debbie knew she couldn't hide from this, she couldn't pretend. If Lou and Debbie knew she would have to face this head on. She breathed deeply, inhaling the slightly spicy edge of Lou's cologne mixed with whatever perfume Debbie had found most appealing to steal lately. It was achingly familiar, it drilled with the exhaustion to try and make her go back to sleep. She opened her eyes, not even wincing at the slight pain that followed the movement, and stood in one fluid motion, grabbing onto the headboard to steady herself as black dots and white stars span across her vision off balancing her. She looked around the room once more and made her way downstairs.

As the door opened Debbie and Lou quickly stopped talking, instead both rushing to their feet and making to move towards Tammy as she came in but stopping themselves before they could take a step. They looked at each other in apprehension then Lou nodded both women towards the sofa and moved to put the kettle on. 

While Lou was making tea Tammy and Debbie   
Sat down on opposite edges of the worn couch, Tammy stared resoloutley at her bare feet and Debbie flicked her gaze between her fidgeting hands and her best friend, stock still opposite her and tried vainly to find anything to say.   
‘ I can feel you staring.’ Tammy's voice was rough from disuse and crying and Debbie blushed and looked away before answering  
‘ I'm glad you're awake.’ she said, far too upbeat and it was jarring in her own ears.  
‘ that was a pathetic start, I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say’ Tammy looked up at that, eyes resting for a fraction of a second on the gap between her collarbones and then dropping to the floor again.  
‘ that'll be a first I'm sure’ she didn't sound mocking, only vaguely amused, Debbie breathed out a chuckle.   
‘ how are you feeling?’ her eyes slammed shut and she had to bite her tongue to stop a million apologies and deflects spouting out of her before Tammy had any time to respond.  
‘ better than yesterday.’ she eyed Debbie's collarbones again for a second ‘ and worse. Definitely safer, though that's not saying much.’ she allowed herself the briefest look at Debbie's left cheekbone, ‘ I'm glad I'm here.’ she let out a shaky breath and her eyes settled in her feet again. 

‘ we're glad you are here too love’ Lou spoke up softly from the door, walking in with three cups of tea and some pain killers, both women on the sofa startled and Lou set the tray down on a coffee table and sat in her usual chair, passing Tammy the painkillers and a small glass of water with a smile  
‘ thought you might want these. He's really done a number on you’ Debbie glared at her but Tammy just gave a hint of a smile and downed the pills.  
‘ you don't know the half of it’ she immediately flinched, then went bright red and looked at her feet again.   
‘ sorry’ Lou and Debbie looked at each other   
‘ there is nothing to be sorry for love, you're here now, Constance is picking up the kids, we'll figure it out at your pace and you can tell us what happend when you want to, okay?’ Tammy and Debbie both looked at her for a moment as if she was speaking a foreign language. The only time they had heard Lou Miller speak that softly was when Debbie was in hospital, and it wasn't even to her, it was to a curious child with a blue cast who had asked about the flowers she had. Tammy nodded. ‘ can I sit on the couch?’ another nod. ‘ do you want to watch shit daytime TV for a bit? Debs?’ when both women nodded their assent she moved to turn on the TV and sat between them, Debbie leaned into her immediately and started flicking through until she got to bake off. As it played Tammy relaxed further and further into Lou's side, eventually falling asleep on her shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to write more so this happend. Shout at me in the comments please


End file.
